Lawsuits: A Wood Chipper for Your Career

Rupert reached his hand through the semi-darkness of the banquet until his fingertips traced Mikung’s thigh under the table.  He felt her warm flesh shiver under his touch, and his tingling fingers raised goosebumps along his arm.  He kept his head turned away and pretended to listen as a seminar speaker droned on about financial statements.

Slowly, delicately, Rupert eased his fingers along the quivering thigh until they brushed against something new.  Fingers reached towards his, and softly enveloped his hand with a soft caress.  The lights dimmed and the speaker said, “May I have the next slide, please?”  Rupert, under cover of gathering darkness, lifted his hand from Mikung’s thigh to ease along the encountered hand.  Two sets of fingers interwove and Rupert slowly turned his head to meet the smiling gaze of…Mikung’s husband Ganja Din?

Rupert yanked his head backwards and awoke.  He sat up with a snort and looked around the conference room.  The wall clock showed ten minutes until the Board meeting.  Rupert stood up and paced the room angrily.  Another dalliance dealt a death blow, he thought glumly.

The first Director to arrive, Ima Punk, slipped into the room and disturbed Rupert’s thoughts.  “So any idea if Mikung will show up today?” Ima asked as she sat down in the most comfortable chair around the table.  “I know if Luzemore Investments tries to toss me, they will never get me off this Board.  Cappuccino’s board meetings are the highlights of my year.”

Rupert glowered down at Ima.  “How could Wiener Merkins Cowfield & Buyouts fire her?” he asked.  Inhaling deeply, he let his shoulders slump.  “Sexual harassment cases are the worst, just non-stop arguing and accusations.  Now that she’s fired, can they force her off our board if she doesn’t resign? Wiener Merkins gets the right to designate a board member, but there needs to be a shareholder vote first.  I think.”

Ima looked unimpressed. “Mikung is a Director for several other companies – or was.”  She opened a notebook and pointed at a page.  “This one, BioRidiculon, her name is gone and a Wiener Merkins partner named Bubba Hardesty is a new director.”  She flipped a couple pages.  “Stemophon Therapeutics doesn’t list any director from Wiener Perkins.  And Perky Paternity Testing lists both Mikung and Wiener Merkins’ senior partner as directors.  That can’t be right.”  Ima closed her notebook and shook her head.

Betty Lidalot strode into the conference room with a dapper young gentleman.  “Rupert, Ima, I’d like you to meet Mr. Georgios Skatalopoulos.  I’ll introduce him officially when everyone is here.”

Mr. Skatalopoulos bowed gallantly to Ima and turned towards Rupert.  “Good afternoon, Mr. Madasheck.  I am proud to be here representing Wiener Merkins Cowfield & Buyouts.”

Rupert looked at Betty.  “Any chance that Mikung will appear today?  That could be awkward.”

Betty smiled.  “Not to worry, she will not be gracing our boardroom.  As far as I can tell, she is busy in Silicon Valley with lawsuits and selling off real estate to pay debts.  I believe her husband is also busy, right here in New York diddling with finances…and boyfriends.” [1]

Rupert grunted.  “Boyfriends.  Her husband’s boyfriends.”

Ima looked up from her tablet screen.  “Well, it looks like Mikung has set aside the harassment case and resurfaced.  As a partner at Forqueue and Forqueue.”

All heads turned towards Ima.  Silence.  Finally, Mr. Skatalopoulos said, “Isn’t – isn’t that the law firm that’s trading lawsuits with a former employee to the tune of $28 million?” [2]

[1] A follow-up on last year’s Silicon Valley harassment case, this one contains plenty of rumors and allegations…and few facts:


One thought on “Lawsuits: A Wood Chipper for Your Career

  1. Mr. KnowItSome

    I appreciate a reading great informative article, told in such a great way – entertaining while being scary. Sexual harassment cases are serious stuff, and a possible drain on anyone’s career. Its impossible to tell if ms Kung Pao is a real case or a gold digger yet.

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