Rupert heard hoots of laughter from the boardroom as he approached from his office. As he entered, Betty said, “Of course it matters, we all know that.” The others gathered around the table laughed.
Rupert said, “Ms. Lidalot, as Chair of this corporation, you should display a much more sober attitude before the Board.”
“Well, that’s about the size of it,” said CFO George Contenumbaes. The others, including Betty, snickered and stifled giggles.
“Something is going on here,” Rupert said. “Why is it the CEO is always the last to know? So let’s hear it.”
Felicity Short, the Director from LotzMooreLute Capital, pushed a journal down the table and said, “It looks like that stuffy old National Academy of Sciences has people with a sense of humor after all. Check out the bookmarked page.”
Rupert found the page, scanned the large-print title, and gasped. It read, ‘Penis size interacts with body shape and height to influence male attractiveness.’ 
Betty said, “The National Academy is a very serious organization, charged with providing scientific leadership for the country. The Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences is a serious and prestigious journal. But their website does exhort you to add ‘PNAS Direct to Your Inbox.’ Doesn’t that sound a bit rude?”
“Well, there must be a potent evolutionary motivation at work,” said Ima Punk.
“What does any of this have to do with biotechnology?” Rupert asked. “Must we behave like middle schoolers?”
“We must understand the wants and needs of our customers,” said Betty.
Rupert hates talking to scientists. Pharmaceuticals are all about business, not science. Aren’t they? Yet here he was in his corner office cornered by two lab coats with nerds inside each. He sighed and waved them both to the one chair in the room. “Get on with it,” he said impatiently. “What did you need to discuss that our Chief Scientific Officer couldn’t handle?”
“It’s about financing our research,” said Nerd #1.
“Oh,” said Rupert. “Then you should talk to our CFO.”
“We did,” said Nerd #2. “He was so excited, he sent us here right away. It’s about how football stadiums get built.”
“Stadia,” said Nerd #1. “One stadium, two stadia.”
Nerd #2 wrote a note to himself, then said, “We want to offer research bonds as investments. There’s already a research-focused pension fund in Australia.”
Rupert grunted. “Research. Isn’t that what NIH is supposed to fund? We can’t afford to waste our money on so many dead ends. As a matter of fact, I was thinking of cutting back R&D like AstraZeneca did. I told you guys, stop doing experiments that fail! Just do the ones that work.”
Nerd #1 said, “We don’t know which will work until we try them. Think how many retirement funds and 401(k)s would buy bonds to support Alzheimer’s research…while they still can.”
Rupert swiveled his chair and stared out the window. “Hmmmm,” he said.
Source of Inspiration: http://tinyurl.com/cn3zbqq