Tag Archives: funding

Biotech Philanthropist Supports the Arts

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A splat on the wall. A tree stump with a doorknob. Flowers in a swamp that partially hid a school of flying piranhas. Rupert’s brain could not interpret the solid red canvas at all. He turned to his hostess and asked, “Is this your company’s, um, famous art collection? I’ve read so much about it.”

Sonia giggled and gazed down at Rupert from atop her 8 inch stiletto heels. “Oh, no, Mr. Madasheck, this is the annual employee’s children’s art exhibit.”

Rupert looked at a sculpture nestled on a pedestal and said, “That explains why this one looks like, um, well, like it was inspired by the family pet. Or its business.”

Sonia gasped in horror. “Oh, not that one! That is an original Brancusi from his early stage over a century ago.”

Rupert held his hands behind his back and glared at the pile on the pedestal. “Well,” he said. “Speaking of business, let’s get on with it. I’ve probably just destroyed any chance at a licensing agreement with you, haven’t I? Assuming I had a chance five minutes ago.”

As bridges and buildings crumble, is Biotech funding the arts?
There must be art lovers in the Biotech world. Rupert might not be one of them. Or is he?
Is it true that Cappuccino Pharmaceuticals is planning to donate $475 million to artists who will paint pictures of dogs playing cards while sipping cappuccinos?

BioBonds for Research

Rupert hates talking to scientists. Pharmaceuticals are all about business, not science. Aren’t they? Yet here he was in his corner office cornered by two lab coats with nerds inside each. He sighed and waved them both to the one chair in the room. “Get on with it,” he said impatiently. “What did you need to discuss that our Chief Scientific Officer couldn’t handle?”

“It’s about financing our research,” said Nerd #1.

“Oh,” said Rupert. “Then you should talk to our CFO.”

“We did,” said Nerd #2. “He was so excited, he sent us here right away. It’s about how football stadiums get built.”

“Stadia,” said Nerd #1. “One stadium, two stadia.”

Nerd #2 wrote a note to himself, then said, “We want to offer research bonds as investments. There’s already a research-focused pension fund in Australia.”

Rupert grunted. “Research. Isn’t that what NIH is supposed to fund? We can’t afford to waste our money on so many dead ends. As a matter of fact, I was thinking of cutting back R&D like AstraZeneca did. I told you guys, stop doing experiments that fail! Just do the ones that work.”

Nerd #1 said, “We don’t know which will work until we try them. Think how many retirement funds and 401(k)s would buy bonds to support Alzheimer’s research…while they still can.”

Rupert swiveled his chair and stared out the window. “Hmmmm,” he said.

Source of Inspiration: http://tinyurl.com/cn3zbqq

Funding Gets a Kick in the Pants

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Rupert gets a call from crack(ed) fundraiser Frida de Thirteenth, who has a great idea. “Surely you have heard of Kickstarter?” she says. “Cappuccino Pharmaceuticals can raise money for drug development and clinical trials.”

“But Kickstarter is where people donate, not invest,” Rupert says. “It’s enough to start up and do some limited project. Who would just give us millions of dollars for a clinical trial?”

“Frida understands your confusion,” says Frida. “That’s why KickPantser exists.”

“Ki – What kind of name is KickPantser?”

“KickPantser is to sustain an ongoing concern through gifts,” Frida says. Cappuccino must donate millions to a central funding organization. They in turn give grants for development and clinical trials. To Cappuccino.”

“Hmmm…” Rupert ponders the idea.